An exploration of the UK unpaid carer's world

The Selfish Pig's Guide to Caring here  Google            Slightly better image below.

The author says that writing his book served as respite from his carer role.  I feel the same about my website.

This is not a review  -  yet.       If you're interested in his friends text see Marriott - friends here



A new venture within dementia research has led to me completing research questionnaires.  One of them asks about carer loneliness.


  1. Hugh Marriott's book doesn't include loneliness in the index but each chapter is prefaced with the main headings within.

  2. Isolation is on pp 43  163  191  207  225  282  309

  3. Invisibility isn't indexed and is related.  p 74 


  1. Chapter 4 is You're on your own.  Page 39 begins with "It isn't what you want to hear.".  

  2. When it comes to friends, Marriott is frank.  They let you down. 

  3. "Isolation is a technique of torture."  p 43 


Chapter 5 includes a list of why they don't leap to your aid on p 56.


Chapter 7 - page 128 is headed "Going it alone" where the emphasis is on healthcare professionals working in pairs.


In the context of "Your mind", Chapter 10 includes a heading - Isolation.  P 163 likens the carer to playing squash without walls - there's no feedback.  P 164 says friends are so well-meaning.  P 166 reminds you that you are in solitary confinement. 


"It's not a luxury to bear the burden with other people.  It's an absolute necessity."  Ch 11, p 191.


" . . . the notorious carers' isolation syndrome."  Ch 12 - p 207


"How often have you felt isolated?"  Ch 13, p 225.


"Where are they? ie people who step forward to help - Ch 17, p 281.  "Out there.  Somewhere." pp 282/3

Keep your eyes open   I say.


"The assistance that carers can give each other is very wide-reaching.  p 287


Support groups discussed on pp 290/1


  1. "is there anybody out there?

  2. There certainly is." p 292

  3. See the follow-up page here.



"Caring takes place behind closed doors . . .   .  And as like it or not it'll drive you out of your mind . . ."  p 309


  1. Ch 19, p 317 deals with support groups.

  2. Internet re carers in your locality and your caree's (piglet's) disability - pp 318/9


Respite care - p 322 is discussed.  Probably somewhere else it says use it and get out to meet people.  (Hugh is asked.)


Regarding young carers,  their friends learn to do without them.  The young carers feel guilty about leaving their often older caree (piglet is pushing it). p 345

Hard to find a clear image. 

Read the first four chapters but no page numbers here.

pagetop    for pasting  The Selfish Pig's Guide to Caring    here

                                Marriott - friends here

                                Alone  Home page here

                                How to meet other carers here