An exploration of the UK carer world

Joshua song sheet   home page

Joshua meets the Health Minister  

Most of us can't even get through to a minor official on the phone.

Joshua  didn't get very far either which is why he wrote this song.

Use the text above and this graphic on your song sheet or ask for one via the Contact page.

Here's the other graphic ready for pasting into your Word etc doc.  It's likely not to repro very well.

Use this horrified modern Joshua for your song sheet.

Don't forget this casualty.

And here's the new lyrics:






Joshua at the Battle of Red Tape Square  

Joshua at the Battle of Red Tape Square
Red Tape Square, Red Tape Square
Joshua leads the carers caught in Red Tape Square
And the forms came tumbling down
You can talk about the folk at Red Tape Square
You can talk about ‘em all the time
They all hide behind their great big desks
And often this song don’t rhyme

Joshua is a carer in need of care
In need of care, in need of care
He canna move for forms all everywhere
And they just keep tumbling down
You try to phone the folk at Red Tape Square
You phone when your time is tight
They’re always busy at Red Tape Square
So you phone ‘em in the night

The forms are always twenty pages long
From Red Tape Square, Red Tape Square
a-mad March hare's
And the forms keep tumbling down
He looks for the form known as K twenty-nine
He can only find twenty-eight
He looks at the date on K twenty-nine
Too late!        Too late!        Too late!

Joshua keeps looking at the length of this song
Just how long, just how long
Someone shouts-“You’re-singing-it wrong.”
But the forms keep tumbling down
Joshua replies that there’s someone here
Who doesn’t look like one of us
He’s checking up, but it aint fair
He’s out to make a fuss

new tune

(canary voice)  I tawt I taw a bureaucrat a-creeping up on me

I did I taw his bowler hat as plain as it could be

(deep voice) I am that big fat bureaucrat, Sylvester is my name

I sent you far too many forms, it’s them I now do claim  

return to Joshua tune

We all scream at him “Get-on-your-bike”
Back-to-the-Square, back to Red Square
He says it’s not-at-all what he does like
But the forms keep tumbling down
When he’s gone we-all-agree-it's got to stop
We think that's rather clever
Red Square hears  and soon dictates
But never,         never,         never!

The lamb ram sheep horns began to blow
And the trumpets began to sound
And Joshua commanded, "Now carers, shout!"
Only forms came tumbling down

repeat last line louder and much slower

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