An exploration of the UK unpaid carer's world

 This document carries the title "That man" and Part One  is based on an email addressed to the Ashfield Manager - AM within Ashfield Company - AC.. The document is confidential and for his use only.
Each section of Part One now has a heading followed by original text. The document author has added notes  He is referred to as DA.
Part Two covers further aspects of Part One in need of development.



1.1  That man
1.2  Joyce sat in the car 
1.3  The commode pan  
1.4  A discrete word with his daughter
1.5  So many rules and regulations
1.6  Six dom-carers

1.1  That man

Have just had Joyce in the office after a very taxing morning at the Harrison’s!  in her word’s “That man”!!

1. It will shown that J presents problems of different nature and varying complexity to DA compared to other dom-carers,  and, therefore to AM.
2. It is not at all evident that J has taken into account stress experienced by DA.  That topic will be dealt with separately.
3. Use of the phrase "that man"points to the probability of J looking at the situation only from her point of view.  1.1.2 is just one aspect of the need for a wider perspective. 
1.2  Joyce sat in the car 

Hilary had to go home sick yesterday, so we asked Joyce to go them.  She arrived at 9.45 and explained to him that we were short staffed due to sickness and that was why she was 15 minutes early.  He would not let her in and told her to come back at 10.00 a.m., and it “wasn’t his problem”.  Joyce went and sat in the car and went back in at 10.00 a.m. 

1. J has turned up early on several occasions and it was presumed that this was a repetition. DA had commented on this with the stipulation that she does not arrive early.
2. At times, early arrival of any dom-carer can present DA with problems relating to the timing of when his wife -  caree, is anticipated to be ready for the dom-carer.  This was the reason on the day.
3. J apparently did not reveal to AC that she said she was early as she needed to leave at 1045 to be elsewhere at 1100.  That was the basis if DA remarking that this issue is not his problem.  1.2.2 gives the reason.

1.3  The commode pan  

This morning she arrived at 8.30 (Thurs morning time), Mrs Harrison spent the first 40 minutes in the toilet before actually going into the bathroom which meant that Joyce ended up staying a extra 15 minutes.  

1. AC policy on dealing with this is not apparent.
2. J spends too much time watching caree within time-consuming activities when caree can be left to herself.
3. 3a occurs occasionally and DA advises dom-carers that he will deal with the situation.  Furthermore, he has generally advised dom-carers to leave on time.
4. DA did not invoke 1.3a.3 on this occasion in order to observe what J will do.

Prof also presented her with the commode pan and claimed she hadn’t cleaned it.  Joyce said that she had thoroughly cleaned it but that there was a tiny bit of tissue paper stuck to the handle, probably from where she had wiped it dry.

1. AM has seen for himself that J had not thoroughly cleaned it.  As stated in our discussion, J is telling a lie.
2. DA spoke briefly to J about this who still claimed  that there was a tiny bit of tissue paper stuck to the handle.  DA reminded her that was no such tissue paper aspect.  He also reminded her  about the brown patch in the pan.  J made no further comment.
1.4  A discrete word with his daughter

We are at the point where the staff are complaining about his behaviour again, Joyce moaned about having to go there 3 times next week, and she is usually fairly laid back.  Think it might be a good idea to have a discrete word with his daughter!

1. AM needs to review how he involves DA's daughter within such future interactions.
2. J being "laid back" may be part of her problem.  More later.
1.5  So many rules and regulations

The problem is that he has so many rules and regulations, flow charts and magic marker lines that they have to adhere to which makes them nervous anyway, 
1. The main purpose of which is to provide a Plan B in the event of DA not being available in an emergency.  A new dom-carer should find all that is needed within 1.5a.
2. The secondary  purpose of which is to inform dom-carers within early days at our household.
3. AM needs to be aware that, in spite of such info being available, items are forgotten. The prime example is J who forgot to lock the wheels of the commode.  If DA had not checked, caree may well have ended up in hospital.

but then he is hovering in the background and pounces if something isn’t quite to his liking.

1. A dom-carer was about to put a boiling pan on the kitchen surface.
2. J was about to deface a kitchen surface with a large sharp knife without using a chopping board.
3. More than one dom-carer has placed small sharp knives point-up in the dishwasher.
4. Ditto wood such as wooden spoons and eggcups.
5. Until DA is confident that J, H and, to a lesser extent R, can be trusted, he will continue to hover.  
1.6  Six dom-carers

We currently have Della, Clare, Louise, Joyce, Rebecca O, and a reluctant Hilary who cover the duties there.

1. DA has told D and C recently, and will tell L, that their consistently high standard contribution to the household is much appreciated.
2. Which leads to the question "Why are the others not in line for similar comment?".
3. R does not present any problem. It is too early to make such comment. 
4. DA is not aware of problems experienced by D, C and L but does not presume there are none.  He is open to new information relating to all dom-carers.


2.1  Stress experienced by DA
1. It is not at all evident that J has taken into account stress experienced by DA.  That topic will be dealt with separately. See 1.2 above  
2. J is accompnied by H.   1.6.3 applies.
3. DA has told AC of examples.