An exploration of the UK unpaid carer's world


                            An unpaid, informal, invisible, forever-battling but determined carer 

                            who can find solace in rare alone-ity.


                            Notice that the carer sits at the end of the seat out of habit - leaving 

                            space for the missing caree.


                                       Another aspect, of course, is that carers need time away from their 

                             carees and do not have reliable friends.  We will see more "When it

                             comes to friends, Marriott is frank.  They let you down." 

Becoming a "couple of one" is a significant finding . .. The concept implies that carers become "emotional widow/ers" long before they become actual ones. The reciprocal nature of a couple's relationship is severed by a cruel act of fate. 

The severing creates a state of biographical limbo in which the carer, entangled with the caree through a mutual past, is unable to fully live in the present or to plan for a future . . . 

The full biographical impact of this realization triggers a deep sense of loss and grief, alleviated to some extent through the use of humour and faith. 

12, 13 and 14  here.

Carers’ biographies take on an uncertain future, making a series of twists and turns, shifts and changes as they move along a course set in motion by the progressively debilitating illness of their caree. All that is certain about the future is that the course will be downward. What remains unknown is how far it will go, how fast it will happen, and what daily life will be like in between.
foot of page here  

Hugh Marriott - The Selfish Pig's Guide to Caring here 

for pasting   Alone  Home page here      

                Note on page return