An exploration of the UK unpaid carer's world

Initials etc re avoidance of web searches will be in full on the hard-copy version - Sunday 5 Feb

Update 4 Feb here

Update 3 Feb at 23


Dear CC members                                                                                            hidden page  for the present                                                                                        
  1. This sheet has been placed on the tables so that the Service will not have been interupted.  It has been ignored by DC and SJ who have had ample chance to change their ways.  What was to have been our DMC (ie me included) has been hijacked by DC and SJ.  Several of you informed DC that you don't want to volunteer if I am involved.   After two of you had complained, DC chose not to tell me so that she could continue a previous determination to take the DMC out of my hands.  Originally, I proposed that it should run normally but she wanted a six-week pilot.  Luckily, the Church Council opposed that motion.

  2. My GP diagnosed autism a few days before Christmas and said that the stress caused by SJ and DC has brought autism to light.  SJ and DC have maximised the opportunity to exclude me from the DMC decision-making body (DMB).  I have taken the  problem to a member of the Church Council who worked in mental health but to no avail.  Time for common courtesy to be introduced into the CC side of the equation.

  3. DC and SJ have been informed of the autism situation, told that I am taking medication, told that I now know what I am dealing with and already making progress, but have made no response whatever.  Such people have been supposedly trained to spot mental health problems.  Indeed, SJ told a mutual friend all about a social interaction she had had with me, thereby breaking a basic Clerk in Holy Orders principle.  I have refrained from complaining to the Bishop.

  4. There is no public scrutinity available of what the DMB is doing or its plans.  My plans have been available from the beginning for those of you with access via and you can read updated versions of what you are reading via

  5. Today is the last day Teresa and I will be seen at CC.  If and when the DMC opens, we will have to continue going to the Leominster DMC (LDMC).  Once we settle on another church, no longer will I need to endure the hypocrisy of religion evidenced at CC and by DC and several others,  (also SJ).   The CC sermons often include in some way to "love thy neighbour".  Indeed, every service includes  "forgive those who trespass against us".  DC and SJ no doubt hold to the principles but cannot or will not apply them to my situation.

  6. Another reason  we will have to continue going to the Leominster DMC (LDMC) is that DC has made in plain. She has told me go away and participate in running that DMC.  One needs to be on the spot to do that.  

  7.  And while that is in focus, the sessions I have run there have been very well received.   

  8. Had I spent more time thinking about where the DMC would be hosted, it would have been offered to the B..t..t Church which is actively engaged in mental health issues.  It also benefits from a more normal spread of ages within its members.

  9. Had I voted, I would be within the 45% who are against the new church.  If and when it is opened, at least 45% of members will not be attending.  In ten years, most will be such.  If it wants to rent space to groups like Ross Pigeon-Fanciers' Club, then fine but it is currently not geared up to, firstly, those in need within the membership, and, secondly, being involved in the community.  We have attended regularly since last April.  Teresa was and remains clearly in need. She is very religious.  She needs that kind of social interaction.  Right from the early days, many people in small-talk may not realise she should attend the DMC.   Right from the early days, there are many CC members who have not engaged with either of us.  Right from the early days, no one has asked if they could help us in any way.  Right from the early days, no one has invited us to their home or suggested we all meet for a cuppa in town due to poor wheelchair access  at their home. Right from the early days, members are quite happy to walk past us in a nearly empty coffee room and ignore us.

  10. I have observed the frequency of not being geared up to wheel-chair users.  It has been better lately, in our case. However, wheelchair users have drifted in and out and stuck on their own at the back. 

  11. I could go on, but the future of this page needs to be declared.  As you may have read in the local paper, there is to be a public meeting organised by RMHSG on Wednesday.  Most of the church-related text will be removed elsewhere.  Had there been a positive response to my involvement in the DMC, any page would not have been necessary.  However, there has been no response.  Therefore I will stand up early in the meeting and read from a revised version of this page.  I will justify my inclusion within the DMB.  If the outcome is otherwise, the final stage is the tabloids.

  12. Update 3 Feb

  13. The worst aspect of the situation is the irresponsible lack of negotiation on the part of DC and SJ.

  14. It is appropriate to insert another stage.  Assuming that CC members are acquainted with the situation, DC and SJ are given until noon on Mon 6 Jan to start negotiating.  Assuming there is none, MHSG members will be sent this page with the request that they give their opinion.  This shows responsibility and respect as a member of the group by giving warning about the bombshell to be inflicted on members and the public who attend on 8 Feb.

  15. Dear members - It is time that you are made aware of the background difficulties within the Ross DMC.  It has been hijacked by the Church.  It means that my wife and I will not attend and continue travelling to Leominster.  The situation is described at

  16. The main point is that I will announce the problem on 8 Feb.  

  17. I am now paying £50 per hr for professional support.  Also have found a different type of support involving friendship.  This is not absent at CC but is very rare.  Apart from 1/28 Bible study brought to our house, friendship is absent at St M's which is included in the reasons for discontinuing attendance.  

pagetop    Dear CC members  here

                   Update 4 Feb here