An exploration of the UK unpaid carer's world

Dear me                          focus is on the relevant text from logo here                           Home page here.

                                                    hidden page  and under construction from 11 Aug 2015       


Updates    18 Aug    Item 3.1.4 below

                 17 Aug    The key issues are  here.

                 14 Aug    Email from TC 11 August 2015 here  Some may prefer it without annotation. 

                 13 Aug - 2g must improve here  


Text in this font within email sent 12 Aug

Dear me                                          

You wrote "please do not hesitate to contact me" and as there are no clues as to who you are, the salutation is appropriate.

You will find the rest of my answer here or

As "me" could be anyone, I hope all staff will read it.  They might learn something.

AFH etc


It has taken a long time to gain a proper response and that in the wake of the possibility of a complaint. 


The Dear me  consideration is indicative of lack of thought - a factor seemingly widespread within 2g.  If proper attention had been given to my initial requests the present predicament would not have occurred.


Carer has no interest in whitewashing internal complaint procedures.  He would prefer to spend that energy on, initially,  attacking the philosophy of  certain departments within the Widemarsh office not having public access. 


That is absolutely no excuse for hiding and not facing people.  I therefore call for, no, demand, a meeting.  


You can advise SH that there is to be no discussion of this sort in my wife's presence.   I do not accept that a CDN should be involved in the solution of a problem within the 2g management domain.   That applies to a third party attending with her said by Adult Wellbeing (another third party ) to be from Alz Soc.


Update 18 Aug

A career assessment meeting took place on 17 Aug with caree, JT and SH.  JT and SH were not briefed vis a vis these pages and so walked into the lion's den.  More using that term at Item 17 here.


There is no need to waste time and suffer whitewashing internal complaint procedures.  Look here, here here.


Carer likes the term  arms length bodies.  and would use it re 2g in the every-day context.  It has official cachet here


Thank you for your email which was forwarded to the Service Experience Department. 


We work with people to resolve concerns and complaints, and I am very sorry that you are unhappy with our services.


I have spoken with both  TW


He may be the person who phoned me after I spoke to AD some two weeks ago.  He asked how he could help.  Patiently, I referred him to the main page.


and JT about your concerns and have been advised of the following: 

A – I hope I have interpreted your wish to discuss the dementia triangle aspects correctly; I think you may mean the Triangle of Care which SH and her colleague will discuss with you and your wife when they visit your home on Monday


You have not  interpreted my wish to discuss the dementia triangle aspects correctly.  " The Triangle of Care for Dementia describes how meaningful involvement and inclusion of carers can lead to better care for people with dementia." more   It is not a matter of "  I think you may mean the Triangle of Care ..."  It is patently obvious that I meant the Triangle of Care. here  Furthermore, "  2 - Staff are ‘carer aware’ and trained in carer engagement strategies." is not working in 2g


I want to see evidence of  the Triangle of Care for Dementia which describes how meaningful involvement  and inclusion of carers can lead to better care for people with dementia.   (my emphasis)   Update 24 July here.


B – You said that you intend to visit the Widemarsh office tomorrow afternoon.  Unfortunately

8b   wrong word - the right word is        Deliberately 


this is not a public building and there will be no-one available to meet with you.  If you wish to discuss your concerns please contact either TW or JT  –

 I understand you have their contact details.  


This is also indicative of lack of thought or, more precisely, lack of proper investigation. Where is your evidence?

TW may have phoned and I forgot his name soon after.  Never heard of  JT.


Alternatively, SH may be able to help when she visits you on Monday.  


You can advise SH that there is to be no discussion of this sort in my wife's presence.  That applies to a third party attending with her.  I do not accept that a CPN should be involved in the solution of a problem within the 2g management domain.  You need to be told things twice, it seems.


 C – I am sorry you feel that the Trust has taken a long time to respond. 

11b/1  Said as if it is untrue. The Trust as taken an exceedingly long time to respond.  All this started early in July. That has been a deliberate decision not to reply.  


The public mind is set against intractable organisations which act as the Trust has.  The public mind knows that the only way to respond is to complain, demand, and name and shame.  The  somewhat buried threat of exposure as seen in my tongue-in-cheek newspaper article has had its effect.  However, it won't be opened as it's my wife who would suffer.

11b/3  78 year-old woman ejected from A&E at 0200 here


I now use unfortunately correctly.  


12 i)

 for it - the public mind, it indulges in the undelivered complaint.  People go to great lengths to dissipate their frustration by talking about the current problem rather than taking action.  Insufficient numbers know what to do and need orgs such as those you mention in your email.  Too many never get as far as using advocacy. 

12 ii)

Too many feel that outcomes such as Winterbourne covert cameras etc are the only solution.  In a wider context, whistle-blowing is a result.

'Blame culture' has led to a growth in procedures to minimise risk but this approach undermines trust, and underpins risk aversion.'  source here

12 iii)  

Too many need to rely on the involvement of third party orgs.  In my case it is Adults sic Wellbeing.   My case-worker SP sent an email on 11 Aug to say that SH phoned her earlier and she is coming on Monday at 1130.

12 iv)  

She also said "In my discussion with SH she has explained to me that she is unable to provide you with a copy of the tests that they undertake, she explained that they would not advise that your wife is tested regularly as this could cause her increased anxiety.  SH will be in touch with you to arrange a visit.  The frequency of these visits will be approximately 12 monthly.  

12 v)

Re 2g being unable to provide me with a copy of the tests that they undertake as it would be too distressing for my wife.  I replied   -  A - it depends on how they are conducted.    B - why has 2g taken all this time to respond?    I will take this up with 2g. 

12 vi)

It depends on how they are conducted.   2g obviously thinks I am stupid.  It doesn't bother to reply to the main page here in early July assuming that I will have lost interest, 

12 vii)

2g obviously thinks I am incapable of handling the tests re wife-anxiety.  I have 54 years experience of interacting with her.  I have fifteen years experience as her carer.  More at No. 6 here

 I slip all sorts of light memory questions into conversations.  2g obviously thinks that I will put on a white coat, brandish a clipboard, set five stopwatches, and run two-hour sessions of Q & A.

12 viii)

At C 1.2 on the main page I say:

I am interested in maintaining caree's present level of communication etc as long as possible.  To that end, family ply her with photos, old letters and cards etc.  All the commonsense approaches are used.  

12 vix)

2g might as well  have declared    ------  through the third party  ----- that this is too distressing for my wife.  That is, if it had properly decided to take interest in what I have to say.

12 x)

You did not read my email to 2g on 11 Aug 11:23 and quoted in the Update 11 Aug on the main page:

12  xi)

SH phoned earlier and she is coming on Monday at 1130.  SP - Adults sic Wellbeing had sent an email.

12  xii)

Although 2g is unable to provide me with a copy of the tests that 2g undertakes:

A - It depends on how they are conducted.     At least enter into dialogue rather than going through a third party.


SH will be in touch with you to arrange a visit.  The frequency of these visits will be approximately 12 monthly.  


To review the medication, no doubt.  Expecting this type of interaction from the outset, I asked for the papers and questionnaire etc.  If I had time you might one day read an article on " The Pilliative NHS  ".  I am not in agreement for nothing to happen over such long periods of time.  Back to the Triangle.  Start work on including me in the triangle.  Otherwise it sits unhappily on its website like Humpty Dumpty.


I understand that staff have been in regular contact with you 


This is also further indication of  lack of proper investigation.  Where is your evidence?  JT at the caree assessment meeting on 17 Aug  had never heard of you.


but have been unable to clarify your concerns; 


no attempt has been made


hopefully the meeting on Monday will resolve some of your questions

16b                 I  demand a separate meeting.  


 D – If you wish to make a complaint, please either contact me via telephone on 01452 894 072, 


What, and ask for me?  Presuming this to be a general enquiry line I would need to explain the nature of the email and the listener would need to work out who you are.  

Now that we have established contact, I am more optimisitic.  You could have been anyone.  You don't sound like the cleaner.  What is your job title?  Head  of Service Experience Department?


or email me using this email address.  Once your concerns have been clarified


The procedure will be emails leading to a meeting.  You are requested to tell me in advance who will be in attendance.  I will match numbers accordingly.


we will contact the Service Director and ask him to appoint an internal investigator


this is as illogical as one area police force investigating another area police force


an external investigator is required - someone with carer experience or carer awareness  -  like me and in the next case


 who will investigate your concerns before sending a report to this team.  A letter is then formulated from the report which is agreed and signed by our Chief Executive; this process takes approximately 40 working days.  


Carers are busy people, half the time trying to sort out messes like this.  The process will take more than two months.  By then, 2g hopes, carers will have fogotten about the problem.

21 a

We may require your wife’s consent to communicate with you about her care.


This has been done in a letter to our GP a long time ago.  It states that the consent applies to all orgs etc involved in my wife's care.   


Some people find advocacy services useful when making a complaint to the NHS, and there are two services in the Herefordshire area from which to choose:

Onside Advocacy:

Support Empower Advocate Promote (SEAP):


I hope this information is useful for you – please do not hesitate to contact me if you feel I can be of any further assistance.


Yours truly


Job title etc

24   -  All that above is sufficient intro to  2g must improve here  


Best wishes


pagetop here  for pasting    Dear me page here

                                        Re this page update 13 Aug - Updates October & November 2014  here

                                        Home page - Notes to 2g 9 July 2015 here  

                                         It lists all the pages in this project unnecessary and unwarranted saga.

                                          2g must improve here